It has been a pretty crazy week so far. I have a lot of great news poker wise, most of which I can’t talk about for a few more days, but have continued to struggle at the tables. One bit of good news I can talk about was a friend of mine who won a tournament a few days ago who I rolled for the tournament and I ended up getting nearly $20,000 as my cut. That didn’t suck! He sure played great at the final table as I was sweating him the entire time.

It’s been crazy because ever since I got back from my Pebble Beach tournament mid last month, it’s as if someone flipped my poker career boom switch up and my poker playing boom switch down. I mean literally, not much more can go right as far as my overall career (and staking) goes, and it can’t possibly go worse at the tables. I can see how some may think that there could potentially be a correlation there, but there isn’t. I may not be playing my 100% A game, but I am playing pretty darn well for me and being 60 buy ins below all in EV for the past month is pretty obviously the culprit.

One thing that I have been doing a little over the last month is writing my next book, which will be a follow up to my current book, Treat Your Poker Like A Business. Treat Your Poker Like A Business has been truly one of the most rewarding things I have done in my life. When I wrote the book, I had never written a book before and when I put it out there I guess I was just waiting to get flamed haha. I knew I had tried my hardest to write a good book that would be a great investment for poker players, but you never know if what you are putting out there is going to be well received or not. But then a pretty cool thing happened. People bought it in numbers I honestly did not think were possible and reviews came flooding in that were very flattering. So now I have become inspired to write a 2nd poker instructional book. I am not setting any firm dates just yet because I am not writing it in a condensed period of time like I did for my first book, but rather I am going to chip away at this one and when it is ready then it will be ready, is the approach I am taking.

It’s pretty funny how random things can impact your way of thinking. My wife and I have just not been able to hang out anywhere near as much over the past 5 months because the birth of our daughter, Lennon, has been so challenging. She is a very high needs child and we are trying to do our best to be good parents to her. She has had colic most of the time (although it is a lot better now) and will not just go to sleep for any significant period of time unless everything is just right for her. So I would be lying if I said it didn’t make things more difficult for our marriage. We’re not fighting or anything, but we just don’t get to hang out which is obviously something we are not used to. Just watching a TV show together is virtually impossible.

So it is pretty easy to kind of grow apart in cases like these and from time to time I have wondered A. man was I really ready for a child? and B. since I never get to spend any time with my wife, I hope I am still in love with her like I was always have been pre baby. And then the strangest thing happened last night. I fell asleep and I think I must have had an 8 hour dream because it felt like it lasted forever and the entire dream was predicated upon my wife leaving me (with our baby girl) and me begging her to take me back (and mostly getting ignored). The entire dream I had a sense of emptiness that I haven’t had really ever, but the only thing comparable would be when some of my more serious girlfriends and I broke up a long time ago.

It didn’t stop there. Once I woke up, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get that empty feeling to go away, even as I was having breakfast with my wife and we were having a great time and the last thing on earth she would ever do is leave me. So it was a really strange dream. I have never had it carry over for more than a few minutes after waking, no matter how bad the dream was.

I am feeling about 90% better as I write this, but there is still some lingering feelings. Anyone else ever have anything like that? Is there any validity to people interpreting dreams? I wonder what mine meant lol.